The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the NogginAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.
Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).
B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes check this site out the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .
But when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in cities, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay males desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".
North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!