The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and nearness .
When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by see page believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while next page feeling all those amazing sparks!