The Sexuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the CraniumAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and repercussions.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).
B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, well-being, nearness, and love .
When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men specifically in city locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry he said take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!